What’s more important – what we know or what we don’t know?
I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately as I delve into the preparations for the role of tech. startup founder, small business owner, solopreneur, mompreneur, crazy lady.
I think about the skills I have honed in my personal and professional lives, the leadership qualities I have developed and the complicated interpersonal situations that I have managed and – in many cases – facilitated a solution to. I think about all of that, and I get so frustrated that I can’t be that person here yet. Instead of walking into a room of wily middle schoolers and helping them to refocus and to keep their eye on the prize, I find myself reading every day to learn things from absolute scratch and doing things I never imagined could be part of this adventure, like shooting and editing a video.
Don’t get me wrong – I love to learn. But it’s so strange to feel so incompetent at so many things out here, especially when all I would have to do to see the take-charge me is to walk back into my school. I’m not on a circular course right now, and my path is taking me further and further away from my comfort zone. They say that’s where the magic happens (unless you get lost in the woods!).
The upside to this month’s journey has been the meticulous whittling of Growing Gratitude’s mission. The office floor is covered in shavings and sawdust, and only the very heart of it remains. When you do eighty takes of a video (while I am naturally prone to exaggeration, take me at my word on this one), what does not ring perfectly true really stands out. I knew what Growing Gratitude was; that part was easy. The surprise to me was the time I needed to take to sort out the nuances of what it isn’t and will not be. The time spent there has been invaluable.
Saw, carve, file, sand. Smooth it over with my fingertips. Only the very heart of it remains.